i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
