Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
honey bunches of taint.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
