ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
