at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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