I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
