Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize