Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
