No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
