Jerry, you need to find god
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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