It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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