CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
