SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
