if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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