NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
worst night to have a conscience
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
