I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Panties = found
Randomize
