is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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