She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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