My brain says no but my pants say off.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
