His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
