So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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