I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
