Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
