He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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