I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
