I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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