clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
