Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
