I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
