Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
