what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
