There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
