I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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