how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
