I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
