theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
