just tell him i said nine months
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize