Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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