did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
