It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize