If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
