Barsexuality is the new black.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize