and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
