I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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