let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
