Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
