I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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