Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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