I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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