i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
