Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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