the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
