I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
