I got chris browned last night
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
farters have to be the big spoon...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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