I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
