there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think a kid would responsible me up
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
