He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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