she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize