i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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